


Lean on Me

by LibraryMage



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Gen, Minor Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-25 00:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20367778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LibraryMage/pseuds/LibraryMage
Summary: He's been a part of the crew for months, but Ezra still has trouble accepting help.





	Lean on Me

**Author's Note:**

> written for the Bad Things Happen Bingo prompt "painful wound-cleaning"

Ezra’s hand tightened on Kanan’s sleeve, clinging to him even as he weakly squirmed in Kanan’s arms.

“I can walk,” Ezra said.

“We’ve already established that you can't,” Kanan said, carefully shifting his grip on the kid as his arms began to ache.

Ezra’s face screwed up as he bit back a groan of pain. Kanan gently placed him down on the floor of the ‘fresher, propping him up against the wall. Ezra’s head nodded forward, his chin dropping down toward his chest.

“Hey,” Kanan said, tilting Ezra’s head back and gently patting his cheek. “Don’t pass out on me, kid.”

Ezra nodded, forcing his eyes open. There was a pale grayish tinge under the brown of his skin. The wound had stopped bleeding, which was a good sign, but the kid had already lost enough blood, and after he'd spent so much time crawling through the air ducts at the Imperial factory, the wound could easily get infected.

“Okay,” Kanan said, standing up and retrieving antiseptic, bacta, a clean cloth, and bandages from a cabinet built into the wall. He returned to Ezra’s side, kneeling down next to the kid to find him still managing to hold his head up, his eyes still open, but glazed over as he fought to keep his focus on what was happening around him.

“Kanan,” he said, his voice weak. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, kid,” Kanan said.

“I’ve had worse.”

“I know,” Kanan said, setting his supplies down on the floor beside Ezra. “That doesn’t mean you’re fine.”

“I don’t need help,” Ezra said. “You don’t have to do this.”

“That wound’s going to be hard to reach,” Kanan said. “You don’t have to tough this out, Ezra. Just let me help you.”

Ezra’s mouth twitched into a frown for a moment, but he said nothing. Taking his silence as permission, Kanan gently clapped the kid on the shoulder before getting to work.

“Alright,” he said. “I’ll be as gentle as I can.”

Kanan began carefully pulling up the left leg of Ezra’s flight suit, only to freeze up when he saw the kid wince as the fabric pulled at the skin around the wound.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s fine,” Ezra muttered.

Moving slower this time, Kanan pulled Ezra’s pant leg up over the knee, grimacing as he exposed the wound on the back of the boy’s calf. Without his clothes covering it, it looked so much worse.

“How bad is it?” Ezra asked. The kid was clearly struggling with the effort of craning his neck in an attempt to see the injury, but Kanan was just relieved that he still had the strength to try.

“It’s bad,” Kanan said. “But I’ve seen worse.”

Kanan took a deep breath, picking up the bottle of antiseptic as he reminded himself that he knew what he was doing. He’d had blaster wounds himself before, and he’d helped Hera care for hers. But somehow, it felt different with Ezra. He seemed…smaller, more fragile than he or Hera ever could.

“Okay,” he said. “This is gonna hurt.”

Ezra nodded, squeezing his eyes shut as he braced himself. As Kanan carefully poured the antiseptic onto the wound, Ezra let out a sharp hiss of pain.

“I know,” Kanan said. “I’m sorry.”

He poured more of the antiseptic onto the cloth and began to carefully prod at the wound, cleaning it out more thoroughly. Ezra’s leg twitched slightly, but the kid was surprisingly quiet. When Kanan glanced up for a moment, he saw the reason.

Ezra’s jaw was clenched, one hand pressed tightly over his mouth to muffle any sound he might make.

“You okay?” Kanan asked.

“I’m fine,” Ezra mumbled, his voice so quiet that Kanan barely heard his reply.

“You can make noise if you need to,” Kanan said, turning his attention back to the wound. “It won't distract me, I promise.”

Ezra remained silent, though his leg was now shaking even more as he fought to keep still and quiet. The kid’s silence unnerved Kanan, but if this was how Ezra coped with pain, he certainly wasn’t going to try and stop him.

As Kanan finally set the antiseptic aside, he heard a small, muffled noise that sounded almost like a word and looked up again.

“You say something?” he asked.

“I said _stop_,” Ezra said, finally drawing his hand away from his mouth, his hand shaking just as much as his leg was. “You – you don’t have to do this.”

“It’s okay,” Kanan said. “We’re almost done. I just need to put the bandage on.”

To Kanan’s surprise, Ezra’s eyes narrowed into a glare. The kid stared him down for a moment before slumping against the wall once more.

“Fine,” he muttered.

It wasn’t the most enthusiastic permission, but still Kanan quickly put the bacta on the bandage before securing it over the wound. Thankfully, he’d gotten to it soon enough that Ezra probably wouldn’t need stitches as long as he left the bandage alone.

“There,” Kanan said, pulling Ezra’s pant leg back down over the bandage. “You’ll be fine once you get some rest.”

Ezra said nothing, just barely nodding to acknowledge what Kanan had said. As the kid stared down at the floor, Kanan could sense a bitter surge of _shame_ rising up in Ezra’s mind.

“Ezra,” Kanan said softly. “What’s wrong?”

Ezra shrugged and cross his arms, still not looking at him.

“Kid, you can talk to me,” Kanan said.

For a moment, Ezra remained silent, his jaw twitching slightly like he was about to open his mouth to speak, but changed his mind. Finally, he spoke, his voice bitter.

“I can take care of myself,” he said. “I’m not a little kid. I can pull my own weight.”

Something tugged painfully in Kanan’s chest at the kid’s words. He should’ve known it would be something like this. Ezra had been on his own for so long, with no one he could really depend on. Kanan had been in the same situation for years before he met Hera. If anyone should have realized Ezra wouldn’t have an easy time accepting help, it was him.

“I know you’re used to doing everything for yourself,” Kanan said. “But you don’t need to do that here. We’re a team. We help each other.”

“I – I don’t want you thinking I can't handle the job,” Ezra said. He began moving his legs as if he was about to pull his knees up to his chest, only to wince and stop himself.

“No one thinks that,” Kanan said. “And no one _will_ think that if you let them help you.”

Ezra just shrugged, and Kanan couldn’t tell if the kid believed him or not.

“Come on,” Kanan said, extending a hand toward Ezra. “You still shouldn’t put too much weight on that leg, and you need to rest. Just let me help you to your cabin.”

Ezra hesitated for a moment before reaching out and taking the offered hand, allowing Kanan to pull him up and slide an arm around him, taking his weight off of his injured leg.

The kid didn’t protest as Kanan helped him limp from the refresher to his cabin. Once they reached it, he hoisted Ezra up onto the top bunk. He was still so light, even after months on the _Ghost_ with consistent access to food.

“Ezra,” he said as he handed the kid the blanket that was bunched up at the foot of the bed, “I mean it. You don’t have to do everything on your own anymore. We’ll look out for you.”

For a moment, Ezra said nothing as he fiddled with the edge of the blanket, looking down at his hands rather than at Kanan. Finally, he looked up, hesitating before he spoke.

“Thanks,” he said. “For everything. I – I’m not trying to push you away, I just…I’ve always had to take care of myself.”

“I know,” Kanan said. “And I know that letting your guard down isn’t easy. But I promise, no one here is going to think you’re weak, or take advantage of it if you need help.”

Ezra kept fiddling with the edge of the blanket, once again staying silent. Kanan knew it would take time for the kid to really believe him. After nearly eight years on his own, Ezra’s walls wouldn’t come down easily, if they came down at all. All they could do was be patient with him.

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep?” Kanan said. “You’ve had a long day.”

Ezra nodded, slowly lowering himself until he was lying down. As Kanan turned away, he heard Ezra’s voice, still weak from his ordeal.

“I meant it,” he said. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it, kid.”


End file.
